Stripper Heels And Butt Glue

So I got my posing suit and heels on Friday afternoon and I of course immediately tried them on.  The suit is slightly too big but I can work with that but the shoes were super small.  I used baby powder and shoved my feet into them.  I could sit without pain but the instant I stood up it was horrible.  I kept thinking if it were like this on stage I would never be able to smile and hold my poses.  I was a little freaked out.  Then my daughter Ellie came home and put them on and started to walk around the house (my husband remarked 'I thought it was my job to keep her off the pole' as she teetered by).  They actually looked like they fit her and she's ten years old.  When she took them off I looked at the bottom and they were a size 7.  I ordered a size 9, and that is a size bigger then I normally wear.  I figured that plastic doesn't stretch so better safe then sorry.

I spent then entire weekend going from porn shop to porn shop trying to find a pair of clear stripper heels.  Did you know that the strip club's retail stores open at 10:00am on Sunday morning?  Just in case you need a black lace teddy at that exact moment.  Nordstrom doesn't even open that early. The only shoes I could find looked like the above pictured shoe - 3" front platform/6 1/2" heel PLUS they only had mules.  In the unlikely event that you don't know what those are they look exactly like the posted picture - they have no back, just that little bit of plastic in the front - so the odds of falling have now increased even more.  I can walk in heels no problem so I did take a turn around the floor.  Very carefully.  Even the stripper/cashier/sale's assistant said she had twisted her ankle wearing that particular shoe.  The shoe I ordered looks like the one below except that they are an inch lower.

They have straps so they stay on your feet. I emailed the person who made my suit and sold me the heels and she didn't answer back.  I sent her two more emails, still no answer.  It's Monday and my competition is in six freakin' days so I am in panic mode.  I called her yesterday, she answered and said she had been on vacation but that she would express mail the correct size.  They are suppose to be here on Wednesday.  If they aren't here I will have to go back to the De Ja Vu Superstore and buy the 6 1/2" heels.  I won't have a choice.  The shoes are required.  I'm not joking.

Now for the suit.  The problem with it being a little big is that it slides around on your butt, if you know what I mean, so I need Bikini Bite which is the 'official' butt glue for competition.  I didn't order any because it never really worked for me before.  You can use hair spray too but I'm not sure if it will work on tanned skin.  I did email the tanning guys and they told me they have a spray that will work so that problem is now solved as well.  To prepare for the tanning session I need to exfoliate and moisturize daily. It's cool because they actually send you the products they want you to use pre-tan.  I used to tan myself because there was no spray tan available, it was just a paint.  Again, not kidding.  My husband would use a brush and I would stand on an old towel and he would paint me with tanner.  I could still do my own spray tan at a salon but I opted to pay the $100 to have them do it, plus they can cover my tattoos.  Used to be you couldn't have any tattoos to compete.  They have to be a little more lenient now because I read that 40% of the population has some sort of ink on their bodies.  I have three big ones and a bunch of small ones, which I won't cover.  The big ones are on my right arm, upper and lower back. It is very hard to see my bicep or tricep so covering the one on my arm is crucial. I also have to shave every last hair.  That includes arms, abs and lower back, if you have hair there.  I am shaving everyday to make sure I don't miss anything.  The hairs catch the light on stage and detract from what they want to see.

My current schedule is two more workouts tomorrow and Thursday, rest on Friday and then kick some ass on Saturday, hopefully.  I have absolutely no energy so the workouts are extra hard.  Tomorrow and Wednesday I will do high rep workouts and just try to slug through some cardio.  Less then 20 grams of carbohydrates until Friday.

I don't normally have food cravings, I don't have a sweet tooth, but I really want a hamburger.  And a drink.

One Week To Go

The de-carb/re-carb went pretty well but I'm not sure the carbing up really did anything.  I may not have eaten enough carbs but I'd rather look smaller then have any water retention at all. Honestly I only ate about 70 grams of carbs because I was afraid of that.

All in all posing practice went well.  We tweaked a couple of things and I practiced my 'presentation walk' for the figure division.  That's going to be weird for me since I haven't competed in anything like figure before.  Physique is so close to bodybuilding that I feel a lot more comfortable with the mandatory poses and the one minute posing routine.

This week is hardcore and I am very tired...but it's only one more week.  I will work out every day straight through until next Friday.  Normally I would take Sunday or Monday off but this is my last push and Friday is a rest day before the competition on Saturday.  Workouts aren't nearly as intense because I just don't have the energy but I am pushing through as best I can.

Here are my workouts for the past four days:

October 22, 2012 Monday

8:00am
Ran around golf course twice

12:00pm
Rode bike for 20 minutes

Arnold presses 5X8 15's

Rear lateral raise 3X10/s 10's

Lateral raise 3X10 10's

Slow scissor twist 5X20


October 23, 2012 Tuesday 

8:30am

Circuit at home:

Ran 1/4 mile

Shoulder press X10/Lateral raise X10/Rear lateral raise X10 in a row then repeat other side.

Repeat both of the above for a total of 5 rounds.

2:30pm 

Tabatas on the treadmill 30 minutes

Incline DB press 5X8 30's

Incline DB flyes 3X15 15's

One arm DB row 5X8/s 30lbs

Pulldowns 3X15 50's

Small stability ball crunches 5X15

 October 24, 2012 Wednesday

Ran sprints at soccer field

TRX triceps 5X10

Single arm cable tricep cable pull down 3X15/s 10lbs

Incline bicep curl 5X8 15's

EZ bar curl 3X15 20lbs

Legs over bench abs 5X20


October 25, 2012 Thursday

7:30pm
Walked up and down Stellar hill(very steep) for 30 mins 

2:30pm
Ran for 30 mins with a couple sprints thrown in at soccer field

Stiff leg walking lunges 3 sets at field

Single leg deadlift 3X10/s 40lbs

Sumo squat 3X15 30lb DB

Reverse curls on bench 5X15 

October 26, 2012 Friday

Rode bike for 30 minutes

4 sets of the below:
Kettlebell single side upright row X8/suitcase lift X8 w/26lb KB back to back 
own each side

Rear lateral raise with 10lb KB 3X8-10/s

DB shoulder press 3X8 25's
*very hard today, feel very weak

Stability ball crunches with feet on the wall 3X15

De-carb/Re-carb

Momentary lapse came on Tuesday.  For about four hours I was wondering what the hell I had been thinking.  That there was absolutely no way I was going to be ready for this show.  Why did I think I could be ready in only eight weeks when it normally take twelve?!  It did pass by Wednesday morning.  I never seriously considered giving up (and I didn't veer from my training and diet) but I definitely was questioning the whole thing.  So everyone has those moments.  I know people that are trying to lose can feel defeated.  It happens to everyone.  It is normal to question yourself but the worst thing you can do is give up.  No one ever won anything by giving up.

I've been de-carbing for the last two days.  Today I did two workouts.  The one this morning was pretty intense.  My friend Jodi and I went to the soccer field and ran sprints in various distances.  I needed her to be there because I don't think I could have done it on my own since I am so depleted.  That took about 45 minutes and then I went to the gym and focused on high reps in order to deplete glycogen even more (prepping the muscles to fill when they get those carbs back).  I performed 4 sets of 20 incline flyes with only 10 lb weights, making sure to get a burn.  Then I went to the Hammerstrength incline press machine and put a 10 lb plate on each side for 3 sets of 15.  Then I did a similar sequence for back with wide and close rows.  My second workout of the day I rode the bike for 30 minutes followed by a shoulder press tabata with 10lb weights, which was way harder then it should have been but the point was to deplete so there you go.

Food today (not much):

6 egg whites, 3 cups power greens, 1 roma tomato

6 ounces lean pork loin

Oh Yeah protein shake

1 chicken breast

1 scoop whey protein powder



I had cut out oatmeal for a couple of days but that totally screwed up my digestion, if you know what I mean, so I added it back a couple of days ago and that fixed the problem.  Today is the serious de-carb (see food diary above) so oatmeal is out again but I am making sure to load on the power greens to get more fiber.

Tomorrow is the carb up run through.  I am going to do a short workout in the morning because I am trying to peak at around 5:00pm Sunday evening which means I will focus on the carbs starting around that time on Saturday.  I bought some sweet potatoes yesterday so I am going to see how those work.

I'll let you know how it all goes! 
  .

Checked Out The Local Competition

My husband, Kevin and I went to the Washington state Ironman last weekend just to see what's up.  As I have mentioned it's been 17 years since I last competed and I wanted to know how the competitions have changed.  The women's physique division is new so there were fewer competitors, there were eight in the open category and one in masters, but the figure division had four classes plus Masters over 35.  From what I could tell the judges are liking a more muscular physique when it comes to figure but that might change now that physique has been added to the competition.  The competition that I am doing has added the physique division for the first time so it will be interesting to see how many women are entering.  I have decided to enter both the Master's Over 50 in figure and open physique so I can see where I score higher.  We only went to the prejudging which takes place in the morning.  That's were the winners are decided and then at the night show is when they actually announce who won. I was impressed at how smoothly the promoter ran the event.  Judging was supposed to run from 10:00-12:00 and from my experience in the past I figured we would be there at least until 1:00 but they stayed right on schedule.

I have been working on my posing routine for the past few days.  I need one for the night show if I am competing in the physique division.  It has to be about a minute long.  During that routine you have to show off for the audience, you don't do your routine for prejudging.  I have sort of put it together so now it's about smoothing it out.

This week I am also going to do a trial run of de-carbing and then carbing up for the show.  This is were you can screw up your entire training.  If you carb up too much then you'll hold water and look less defined on stage.  If you don't carb up enough then you'll look flat so your muscles won't look as full.  This has always been a tough part of training for me.  I retain water so easily that I have to be really, really careful about how I do it.  I have screwed it up more then once and it sucks because all your hard work goes down the drain...okay that's an exaggeration but chances of winning definitely diminish.  In the past I have carbed up too much, carbed up too late and not carbed up enough.  If I carb up the night before I look better for the night show but not prejudging and, as I mentioned before, that's when they decide the winner.  Some women even carb up the morning of.  I have learned that my body takes about 24 hours to figure out what I'm doing so my plan this weekend is to carb up 24 hours before I go in and work on my routine....in front of big mirrors....with bright lights.....and my friend Teri watching.  Some women carb up on rice or sweet potatoes or even honey and baby food (yup) but for me it will have to be straight-ole oatmeal since it seems to work well for me.  My diet is already super low in carbs so the main thing will be learning how to carb up properly.

Closing In On Week Five

The last two weeks have been pretty tough. I totally got stuck at a five pound loss for two and a half weeks. I know that I don't lose steadily but it just seemed to be taking a long time to drop and I was working so hard. For the past five days I cut my carbs to less then 30 a day and that did the trick because I dropped three more pounds as of yesterday. I also made absolutely sure that I did two-a-days for all of those five days. It sucked but it got the job done.

Yesterday I met my friend Teri at the gym and went into the group exercise room which is the brightest room I have access to, and of course it has big mirrors. We wanted to make an assessment of how I looked with about four weeks to go. It's really hard to make an assessment without being tan so I got a level 3 spray tan in the morning. I am pretty happy with the way I look overall but I still need to work on shoulders and chest but they have always been my weak areas so it wasn't a big surprise. I am training both chest and shoulders as often as I can which means as soon as they aren't sore I'm on it again. Stomach is flat but abs aren't in yet but I expected that. I need to tighten up in the glutes as well. All in all I think that another three pounds will make the difference and that's totally doable as long as I stay on it. It's going to be a tough four weeks.

Here's a sample of one of my low carb days:

8:00am
1/3 cup oatmeal
100/3/18
3 egg whites
45/10/0

12:00
8 ounces flank steak
540/80/0

2:30
1 scoop protein
120/20/4

4:00
Protein shot
130/35/1

7:00pm
8 ounces flank steak
540/80/0
Salad with ranch dressing
150/2/2

Daily totals - 1,625/230/25